My Dad
By, Candice Landis ©2012
My dad always seemed to me a giant of a man
One with a very heavy hand
I spent my life trying to earn his love
Any attention i could get i soaked up every scrap of
He was a good friend to some and seemed to take a lot of abuse
I used to ask him why he did that? What was the use?
He would say someday I may need a helping hand
But when he did there was always an excuse, they had other plans
I watched him go to work at the same place for 23 years
Then come home one day and dissolve into tears
His job was gone,he had no future left
His very pride had up and left
For a while he worked part time at odd jobs doing what he had to do
It was never enough for my step mother and she let him know it too
Slowly as the years passed I watched the light fade from his eyes
He became diabetic and his back she continued to ride
He didn't seem to care anymore what happened to him
Then his flesh started rotting and he began losing limbs
Two amputations later and his wife was through
Find a new place to live she told him, I want nothing more to do with you
So we called a case worker in
She found him a place to live
He spent time with his grandchildren
But never again did he have an ounce of ambition
His kidneys shut down and it was dialysis time
It made him so sick, he was always afraid he was going to die
I gave him books and recipes and tried to get him to care
He thanked me kindly with this sad smile and blank stare
Then one day at a Dr visit a blood clot moved in his lung
He died right there, we thought he was done
They brought him back though from the edge of death
We all rushed as soon as he woke up and surrounded his bed
He told us he loved us and he was sorry for his mistakes
We told him we loved him and to just stick around for all our sakes
He said he would, that dying was no fun
He knew his health was bad and there was work to be done
He hugged each one of us then, the grand kids too and cried in our arms
He was so cold to the touch but i hid my alarm
He came home to his apartment then for one week
The grand kids all gathered at his feet
He would tease them and tell them stories and try to play games
We all sorta knew though he would never again be the same
One week and one day after he came home
We lost the most wonderful man we had ever known
A horrible accident or an act of God we will never know
My father was dropped from a wheel chair lift and landed on his head
We had to pull life support that same night, Our father was dead
He wasn't the greatest man in the world by a long shot
But he was the only Father I ever had and I loved him dearly, How could I not?