Faithful Expressions

A Few Short Months Ago I Felt I Was Nobody, It’s How I Was Raised

My Name Is Candice, And I Was Born Into Abuse

All Of My Life I Felt People Were Only Nice If I Could Be Used

My Parents Had A Physically And Verbally Abusive Marriage

I Was Not Cuddled Or Kissed Or Ever Encouraged

Screaming And Hitting Was What I Was Born Into

It’s A Horrible Thing For A Child To See, To Live Thru

You Take Turns Resenting Each Parent As They Violently Strike

You Stand There Unable To Look Away, Frozen In Terror And Fright

You Wake Each Day Praying, Please God Don’t Let Them Fight Tonight

You Even Ask Them, Mom, Dad, Can You Please Be Nice

I Can’t Even Describe The Terror A Child Feels Watching All Of This

Many Times I Feared He Would Kill Her Or She Would Kill Him

I Tried To Be Brave And Come Between Them To Stop Them A Time Or Two

I Soon Learned That’s A Very Dangerous Thing For A Child To Do

My Earliest Childhood Memories Go Back As Early As Age Two

Happy Ones That I Think Now God Knew I Would Need Later To Cling To

Eventually They Divorced And Went Their Separate Ways

Then For Us Kids They Would Tell Us The Other Felt Hate

You Think Your Mother Loves You? Why Didn’t She Show Up Today?

Your Father Doesn’t Care About You, He Doesn’t Have A Brain

On And On They Inflicted On Us Their Words Of Hatred And Pain

Then Each Remarried And The Step Parents Entered The Game

You Would Think With New Spouses Things Would Change

And I Suppose They Did, To Us Kids Shifted All The Blame

One Wasn’t Fond Of Kids And One Had A Daughter Of Her Own

My Life At The Age Of 12 Became An Open War Zone

I No Longer Felt Welcome In My Own Home

I Married And Had A Child At 17, Before I Was Grown

When I Held My Child I Promised Her Abuse She Would Never Know

She Would Always Know My Love, And Know She Had A Home

Both Of My Girls Are Now Grown And Out On Their Own

When They Were Gone I Felt Bereft And All Alone

All Those Feelings I Had As A Child Rose Up Inside Me

Once Again I Was That Little Girl Unloved And Lonely

My Husband And I Had Over The Years Emotionally Grown Apart

Now The Girls Were Gone And I Had A Huge Hole In My Heart

I Had Spent More Than Half My Life Raising Them

Now I Was Left With What They Call An Empty Nest

So I Sat Down One Day And Began To Write

I Wrote About My Past And All Those Feelings I Still Had Inside

I Showed Them To A Friend Of Mine One Day To Get His Insight

He Read Them And Cried, Told Me The Reason I Had Survived Was Christ

I Listened To Him As He Explained Why I Gone Through All Of This

The Fact That I Could Suddenly Write Was A Sign From God, A Gift

He Thought I Was Meant To Go Through Everything I Experienced

So I Could Write And Reach Others Who Have Went Or Are Going Through It

That In Telling My Story I Could Help Others Turn To Christ And Rise Above

That I Can Let Them Know Your Past Does Not Define You And It’s Never Too Late To

Turn To Gods Love

Suddenly For Me Everything Made Sense,

I Felt Finally I Knew My Life’s Purpose

So I Continued To Write And Pray And Study Christ

And I Asked Him To Lead Me And Be My Guide

And This Is Where He Led Me To Begin My Spiritual Life

The Little Girl Unwanted And Oh So Very Shy

Stands In Front Of You Reading Words She’s Written About Her Life

Now I Feel I'm Somebody, I’m A Child Of God And I’m Healing Inside

And That My Friends Is Truly The Amazing Power Of Christ

I Live For Him Now And Dedicate My Life To Help Spread His Light

It’s Never Too Late And You Cant Fall Too Far

God Will Reach Out To You Wherever You Are

Turn To Him And He Will Take You In, He Will Forgive

He Will Bless You And Empower You To Really Live